Heroes Ride Draft Horses

I had forgotten about this one. Talk about silly. But at one time I actually had hopes for it.

Virtually nothing of it is readily available now, if it even exists anymore. There is a folder on my computer for Heroes Ride Draft Horses, but the file it contains is mostly giberish. The only text which remains readable is "I met Holly". Everything else is gone.

The story came out of conversations with my sister-in-law (B). At the time, Spouse and I were boarding three horses at Spouse's brother's hobby farm. B trains horses and was instructing Spouse and me on how to ride well. B also likes to read. Loves to read is a better way of putting it. Ravenous for words probably says it best. She reads a lot of factual information, but plenty of fiction books pass before her eyes, too. She read most of what I wrote back then. None any more. Pity. I miss our conversations.

Anyway, my primary horse was half Percheron and half Quarter Horse. By everyone else's standards, Liebschen (sweetheart) was ugly, clumbsy and stupid. But she did what I wanted her to do and went where I wanted her to go. That was good enough for me.

Somehow, in discussing writing, stories, horses and whatever, I came up with the idea of a modern day hero who's mode of transportation was a draft horse. The specifics went something like this:

Holly Furd is a mild mannered, quiet, shy and generally uninteresting man in his thirties doing an uninteresting job for an uninteresting company. He lacks confidence and social skills, and so he remains unmarried, living alone in a cheap, one-bedroom apartment. His life becomes turned upside down when he is informed that he is the primary beneficiary of a millionaire relative's estate. Unfortunately for Holly, other powerful members of the clan are unhappy with his blessing and are seeking to take it from him. This can be done in one of two ways: declare him unfit according to the terms of the will (I don't recall the exact nature of the terms); or kill him.

It is the killing him part which causes a part of Holly's mind to - unhinge. This 'unhingment' takes the form of periodic spells, in which Holly believes himself to be a masked superhero out to save the world from the forces of evil. While involved in one of his spells Holly is fair game for the family factions to descend and declare him unfit. So, what do Holly's allies do? They concoct an elaborate plan to isolate Holly while still allowing him great freedom of movement.

Since he is so rich, Holly no longer needs to work. However, it is precisely being confronted with the knowledge of his wealth which sets off one of Holly's spells. So his allies determine not to tell him just how rich he is. They purchase a monstrous estate with so many buildings at its heart it practically passes for a small town. Included with the estate is a small herd of draft horses. Shires, I believe. Holly is moved into a mansion, which he is told is an apartment building. He is able to afford these suites because his company - which, he is told, has sent him to this place - is footing a good portion of the rent. He is given fake work to do (he no longer works for his company). Everyone in his 'town' is either his ally, or works for him. He just doesn't know it.

Holly never was one to travel or take vacations, so the plan seems foolproof. He can enjoy life as he sees fit. His allies find ways to provide him with all he desires without letting him know how he got it. But not everyone is always careful.

A woman is hired to act as Holly's personal secretary. I don't remember why (other than that there will be an obvious love interest). That she works for Holly must be kept secret from him, but of course sometimes Holly is inevitably confronted by the truth. Generally, this is due to the efforts of the family factions, who have learned of Holly's condition and now seek to garner the evidence to depose him as chief inheritor.

The narrator of the series (it was conceived of as a series of short stories) is the one in charge of Holly's affairs. It is his responsibility to protect Holly and his money while seeing to it that he is able to enjoy the wealth he has inherited. The humor (obviously it was supposed to be funny) comes when the family factions are able to initiate one of Holly's spells. At that time Holly dresses in his hero costume, rushes to the stables, and rides off to engage the villains. The villains, of course, always end up being members of the family faction - or their hired detectives - who are hanging about to get the evidence they need. They are generally also engaged in some real crimes.

It always works out for Holly, of course, and always by chance and coincidence. And the real criminals are carted off to jail. However, at the end of every story the narrator is left to wonder over the sequence of events. He confesses his steadfast belief that Holly is just a nice person who has a personality quirk, but adds, "But he and that horse of his did accomplish some amazing things."

Back in the 80s it seemed like a wonderful idea. Nothing ever came of it though. Pity.