Can I Really Write

Sometimes I wonder.

I mean, I can write. Of course, I can write. I'm writing this. But can I write something that means something to someone else? That's what I wonder about.

This current wave of self-examination is the result of my realizing I have chopped nearly 20,000 words away from Flames of Hatred (I have to rename it. The Evil Editor Minions let me know this title sucks.). I thought I had a great story at 198,000 words. Now it's dropped to 179,000 words and I'm not even halfway through. Am I really making it better? Or, am I just making it smaller?

Is it because, when I write, I write so fast? I've been reading the blogs of a lot of other writers - most of them Evil Editor Minions. I find even the most productive of them come no where near my daily word counts - when the Muse is visiting. (I wrote the original draft of Flames of Hatred in less than a month. It was nearly 300,000 words. Writing 30,000-words in a day is not a problem. Only, which is better: 2,000 words of publishable work; or 30,000 words of crap?) ALL of the Minions write better than I do. Is it because they take their time and write well to begin with? That's discipline! I never work that way. Once the story starts to come I have to get it out. When the Muse leaves I will be mired in place until she returns. That may takes months. (She always returns, but she takes long vacations from me. I think I wear her out.)

But what good does it to do to spew out crap? Using round numbers, I wrote a 300,000 word book. When I finish with this go-around it will have been reduced by sixty percent - at least. The good writers seem to be getting their books drafted, edited and ready for submission within a year. I spend three to six months on my first edit. Then I have to edit again, and again and again. Why? It's like something I saw on a television show many years ago. The students at this school were allowed to publish their own paper - but it had to pass the review of the dean and his staff. One issue, the students got away with an obvious pornographic reference. When asked how his staff could miss something so obvious, the dean replied, "This issue was filled with so many explicit references the one that got past us looked tame."

My point? Bad writing looks pretty good when compared to horrible writing. But it's still bad writing. That's why I have to edit so many times.

Swords of Fire is such a good story. People really need to read it. I wish I could write it so that people wanted to.

Well, back at it. I'm halfway through Chapter Nine.