Belonging

NaNoWriMo is soon upon us. Thousands of people around the world are signing up to officially participate.

As I understand it, the idea is to write 50,000-words from November 1st through the 30th. Not sure if this is for one single story, or if a series of short stories would qualify.

To be honest, I'm not clear on what the appeal is. Writing 50,000-words in thirty days is hardly a problem for me - when I'm writing. I've done nearly three times that since the first of September. But then I will also go through a similar time when I don't get five or ten thousand words.

The word count doesn't really matter to me. I once puked out nearly 30,000-words in a single day. I had awakened in the middle of the night and had nothing better to do so I wrote. And wrote. And wrote. Dawn came and I said, "To hell with college. I'm an a roll." And so I just stayed home and wrote. And wrote. And wrote. I wrote fairly steady for about fifteen or sixteen hours straight. When I was finished, I had a ton of words. But put together as I had put them they were basically crap. I still have that manuscript, but it's in The Archives as a momento of something that didn't work. I rewrote the thing (it was a Swords of Fire effort) several times since. Very little of what I wrote that night-into-day remains.

I suppose it comes down to how different authors and writers are motivated to write. Many of the blogs I have visited show word count progress. I've used them myself, posting my editing progress on this blog. I have an Excel spreadsheet tracking my chapters for The Sweet Girl right now. I'm at 47,000-words and coming up fast on the climax and ending. I expect to be finished within the week. But my interest in word count stems more from having been told Swords of Fire is too long for a first book, so I'm kind of trying to limit myself. These artificial guidelines have nothing to do with creativity and, in fact (in my opinion), actually gets in the way of creative thought. But that's just me. I've known writers for whom such parameters are exactly what they need.

All that being said and done I am considering NaNoWriMo because my best friend is going to be part of it, as well as a lot of people I've met online. For me it's more about the 'herd sense', of belonging to a group of people with whom I wish to belong. But I probably won't actually 'sign up'. That will work against my creativity. It's not the way I write. And I don't need any recognition for writing the words. I've already given myself recognition for writing even more. For me, it isn't about recognition and it isn't about proving I can do it. It's just about belonging.

So Tell Me More

So I had Apprentice reviewed again recently, and I got a lot of helpful suggestions which I am going to try and implement as soon as I can finish The Sweet Girl. (That is very close, by the way. Two chapters to go.) One of the things I was called on about was my dialogue. Too much of it.

This is not the first time I have heard this complaint about my writing. Generally, my characters receive and disburse information via dialogue and not action. I guess I see action as the point where information is used, not transmitted. When information needs to be moved from here to there I tend to use dialogue.

But this isn't apparently what people want to read. People want to read about people doing things, not talking about them. But what about when people aren't doing anything? I'm at a place in The Sweet Girl where everyone is sitting around a table engaged in a meeting. Not exactly a place for a lot of action.

My problem is I see characters interacting through dialogue more than action. Maybe that's because most of the time I'm interacting with people via the internet now. That's dialogue. But even face-to-face, I'm either talking with people or I'm not interacting with them.

So I have to admit I don't understand why dialogue doesn't work. But I've been told more than once it isn't working. I'm accused of telling and not showing. I guess my weaknesses as a writer are paramount, because I honestly do not understand.

Shadow Sweet White Apprentice

So, this is my eighth post since moving out of my home. It wasn't that long ago (although to me it seems like an eternity) I was posting every day. It's just hard for me to communicate much with the outside world now, even after seven weeks. Guess I expected too much out of life.

Anyway, I'm not sure my not posting is all that big of a deal anyway. It's not like I have that much to say which is of real interest. But on the chance someone might be, I'll provide a status of where I am at with various projects.

I've put my White Wolves story on indefinite hold. Not because I don't want to finish it, but because I have a couple of other projects which are taking precedence right now.

I'm going to be doing a major rewrite of Apprentice. Yes, I know. I said it was finished and even submitted it for publication. It got a reading but was rejected. I got another critique (won't say by who because I'm not sure she would be happy to be identified, even though I do not believe she visits this blog) and talked it over with fairyhedgehog (who said she doesn't mind being identified as my original reader) and we agree the story could profit greatly from the new ideas. It could become a bit larger, as most of the suggestions were for more detail in surroundings and in Kiahva's head (what she's thinking, not grey matter). But at the same time there's a lot to be cut, so it's hard to say.

But Apprentice is also on hold. It's waiting behind my current work in progress: currently under the working title Real Problems. That title isn't going to last. I don't much care for it at all, but then I'm not sure about my original go. Real Problems is the fourth (or fifth) go at giving this thing a title. In fact, now that I'm letting the title ruminate in my head I've come up with one I like much better. It ties in with an important story element. In fact, it's the driving force. The newest (and greatest) working title will be The Sweet Girl. You'd have to know the story to know why it works but, unfortunately, I'm not going to reveal that just yet. I want to finish it first.

Right now I'm in Chapter Eleven and sitting at about 37,000-words. My original plan was fifteen chapters and about 45,000-words. I may or may not reach the chapter goal. I will definitely surprass the word target. It's going to go very close to 60,000-words. Then it going to require a major edit job. But that will have to wait because once I finish the draft Sweet Girl is going to go on a warmer burner while Apprentice takes center stage.

Recently, I finished another short story: Shadow People. I think that went about 60,000-words. Yeah, I know. How can I call 60,000-words 'short'. It's easy. Typically, when I write a story it goes well past 100,000-words. But those are epic fantasy stories. Shadow People is hardly epic. Same with Sweet Girl and even White Wolves.

Anyway, the Muses have been feeling sorry for me because of the house thing and have been entertaining me with a host of creative ideas. What a pity they can't actually make me write well enough to be published. But I'm not sure I would be happy with that right now. I still like the way I write now. My stories are giving me enjoyment, if nobody else. But that's kind of the story of my life.

Don't know when I'll post again so take care.

Starting Over Again - and Again - and Again - and

So, I set my new story (WWOD) aside for the time being and started a new new story (ACG). (The letters are acronyms of the working titles.)

ACG #1 went about 1,100-words before I decided I didn't like some things and restarted.

Using pieces of ACG #1, ACG #2 made it past the point of stopping on #1, but only by a little. Word length, about 1,400-words, ending with the clever phrase, "I look forward to seeing more of you."

ACG #3 actually completed a chapter. It dealt more strongly with some concepts I am trying to establish, but it didn't "feel right" to me. I liked what I had written, but it just didn't seem to be the story I wanted to tell. Another 4,200-words tossed aside.

ACG #4 became a rewrite of Chapter One and a lot of words in Chapter Two. But that's how it feels to me: like a lot of words. There are more than 2,800-words in Chapter Two, but I don't know that I'm saying anything. I do tend to babble.

So, I've received some good advice and help from a friend, and done a bit of reading which helps. Now I'm going to begin ACG #5. Only it won't be called ACG anymore. I haven't got a new working title but, based on new feelings, ideas, and unspoken messages from my main character, ACG no longer fits what the story is really about. So I'll come up with something new. Something I like.

Speaking of titles, like nearly everyone, I think I'm good at them (and at the same time not being impressed with many who are acclaimed). There have been several books I have passd on because of the title, and when I learn a previous version I think I would have bought the book had the original title been kept. Not always.

Finally, I want to put in a plug for fairyhedgehog's blog. The truth is, I think she may be the only visitor this blog gets anymore, but on the chance someone else passes by I want to redirect them. Her latest post provided me with some help for my ACG problems, and I thought to give her some advertising. Fairyhedgehog frequently posts helpful hints and links.

Plugging Away For - Something Unknown

So, Shadow People is completed. I even wrote a query letter for it. It needs work, but I have one. What I don't have is a place to send it. But I'm letting the query rest for now.

Meanwhile, I have begun yet a new story. It's in the early stages and I'm only on chapter four. My guess is this story will also run about 60,000-words when completed. It's requiring more research and ultimately will require a more in-depth rewrite. But there is writing taking place, even if it doesn't appear anything will come of it. Of course, why should it? Nothing has ever come of anything else I've ever written.

It's kind of sad, in way. All of these stories, and most of them well and good, and at best they will be enjoyed by one or two instead of many. What a waste my life is.

I'll let you know when I've finished this go.

Inspiration is Not Dead - And Neither Am I - Yet

So, I have not been entirely idle although I have been absent. But the idea of this blog is my writing, and if I'm not accomplishing anything to that regard, why blog? And since, according to StatCounter, this blog was getting virtually no visits, it's not like it's a great loss if I don't post.

Anyway, I have written a new story. It's done now. I've even gone through an edit. It's only about 64,000-words, which is nothing compared to what I like to write. But it says what it needs to say. To use more words is to simply include filler.

It's title is "Shadow People", and once again it is of a fantasy nature, although not the kind of fantasy I normally write. This time there are no swords, wizards, dragons, or fairies. Well, maybe there are a couple of them. I suppose it depends on one's point of view. That is the hint, of course, that this story deals with subject matter I have struggled with for a great deal of my life. What is right and what is wrong? What is real and what is imagined? And just what does it mean to be in love with someone? Anyone.

I'm not going to go into what the story is about because I haven't written a query for it yet. The joyful part of writing any book. Haven't written a synopsis for Swords of Fire either. I don't know if I ever will. I don't know if I can.

I am a writer. Wish I was an Author, but that's probably more than I have a right to even dream about. But my stories are good stories. They are well worth the read, if you can get your hands on one. Not likely, as those who must decide where to invest their time and money are not interested in my work. A pity. For me and for them. My stories are worth paying for. I know Shadow People is. I would buy it - if I didn't already have it.

Anyway, it's done.

Just thought I'd say.

She

She
by Bevie James

She was beautiful beyond my dreams or reality
In my arms she was like an envelope of love
But that was a dream

I found her as a child and she made me a man
In her arms I was like burning flame of passion
But that was just a dream

I loved her smile, and her winsome eyes enraptured me
The sound of her voice was like a song upon my heart
But it was all a dream

The child that she bore me was as beautiful as she
The way she touched my spirit made me always feel free
But the girl and the woman were just a dream to me

The love that I feel still dwells deep within
It longs to get out and live life again
To love and be loved
What else makes a man
The power of love makes me be all I can

The girl of beauty lives on in my heart
I embrace her each morning and evening in love
But it is all a dream
Oh to sleep and dream
I dream that I can breathe
Awake I dream again
To dream