NaNo Ends Early For Me

So it's been a slow week for writing. I've completely set White Wolves aside and have no plans to continue it until after I finish the other story, which I'm calling Summer Shade right now.

White Wolves, which was started in September, is in Chapter Eight and at 23,920-words. Just over half of those words have been written in November.

Summer Shade was started in October. It is in Chapter Nine now and sitting at 28,593-words. Nearly all of those words have been written in November.

This is the third time White Wolves is being set aside so I can write something else. The first time was when I wrote Shadow People. I was greatly inspired and wrote the whole thing in less than two weeks.

Shadow People was followed by The Sweet Girl, another spur of the moment inspiration. I began it in the last week of September and finished it in about two weeks. Then I worked on a rewrite for Apprentice. I've got another rewrite scheduled, but I'm waiting on the chance one of my readers will send a critique after NaNoWriMo.

FollowingApprentice I started a novel I'm still calling My Life as Charise. Only got a few hundred words into it, though, before I was struck with a new inspiration: Summer Shade.

Before Charise I had already committed myself to finishing White Wolves of Dawn in November as part of the NaNo blog thing. But I have run into something I knew was a very real possibility: I hate the commitment thing and regret agreeing to it. In fact, I hate it so much that I have consciously decided NOT to finish White Wolves of Dawn in November.

I guess it's my non-conformist, childish rebellion, streak surfacing.

Since November has begun all I have thought about is word counts. The result is that I have not enjoyed writing White Wolves of Dawn or Summer Shade. A very good friend of mine suggested I just bail on the whole NaNo thing. And so I kind of have.

White Wolves of Dawn is set aside. I intend to push forward with Summer Shade and finish that. Assuming I can recapture the inspiration I can be finished quickly - also assuming I can consistently get time to write. I haven't been. This week has been horrible. I have not had a single morning to myself. Morning has become my writing time. But I know if I could just get four or five days in a row I could finish Summer Shade. And once Summer Shade is finished I just might return to White Wolves of Dawn. But I won't be giving any word count updates after today until Summer Shade is finished. Then I'll give you the final first draft word count.

But I am counter-inspired by the "write so many words in a day/week/month" pressure. It makes me NOT want to write. For me, writing is 100% inspiration. Word counts are NOT inspiring. Not to me.

In a way I feel like I'm letting down other writers who are feeling the pressure of word counts and trying to achieve the 50,000-words in November goal. But I don't need that kind of encouragment/pressure. I wrote two 60,000-word novels in just over four weeks. So I have no real need - or motivation - to participate in things like this. I joined because I wanted to belong to a group of people I greatly respect. Only I still don't feel like I belong with them. The truth is, they're better writers, better educated, better read, and generally better people. So I'm bailing. It's the only way I can write and enjoy it.

Sorry.